(no subject)

I'm going to try posting for the first time in months here. I've been all about the FB, but not the LJ....I know, I'm bad.

So, let's see, what's new.....so my dad is living with us. Him and my mom split up several months ago. Mom has a cute (although teeny tiny) apartment downtown and my dad has been living in his car. Yes, living in his car was totally by choice...he's done it before. Kind of his hippie/nothing tying him down thing. So he had been parking on his friend's property and occasionally sleeping in said friend's garage. But by December it was just too damn cold. So he called and asked if he could move in until he can get his own apartment. Of course we said yes. Well, I should rephrase....*I* said yes. Tom is a little irritated....not so much that it's a problem though. So dad is in the process of getting on disability. He can get it for physical stuff because of his knee replacement. But he can also get it for his mental health issues (severe anxiety disorder, clinical depression, PTSD, ADD). Hopefully it'll go through soon. That would also get him health insurance.

Scotty is doing well. He was horribly sick last month, but we managed to keep him out of the hospital. Seriously, he was so sick he couldn't walk. Dr. Liu carried him around his office and then got him a wheelchair to get out to the car. It was awful. He survived though and now he's doing fine. He lost three pounds during the illness, but he's gained it back now. He's been bumped up to four feedings a day to try and get his weight going again. We got his first report card too. He's doing.....ok in school. He's pretty delayed compared to the other kids. But not so much that he needs special ed. He's super cute though and that will get him through life. It's worked for me.

Hunter had an interesting experience last week. My ex called me and said that Hunter had passed out. Of course he hadn't taken him to the hospital because he needed me to tell him that that's what he should do....sigh. So we rushed him to the ER. The story was this: He'd been feeling sick and assumed that he just had a little cold. Then he gets up in the middle of the night to pee and passes out in the bathroom. He wakes up on the floor tangled in the toilet paper dispenser and towel rack, which had been torn off the wall when he fell. Pickes himself up and heads to the kitchen for a glass of water (no, it didn't even occur to him to wake his dad up). He passed out in the kitchen and hit the floor so hard with his face that he broke out his front tooth. Anyway, turned out that his "cold" was pneumonia and strep. They got him on meds and then I took him to the dentist to have the tooth repaired. He was really embarrassed about having no front tooth. Plus the nerves were exposed *shudder*. He feels much better now. Last time I had pneumonia it took me 6 weeks to recover. He did it in three days.

What else should I talk about? I'm in the midst of changing my crazy meds. My mood stabalizer is making me gain weight, so we're cross tapering off of it and on to another one. Hopefully that'll work. My therapy is going well too. I graduated to every other week and I'm still quite proud of myself. Three years ago I couldn't leave the house without a panic attack....now I'm pretty fucking functional.

Hmmm....I can't think of anything else right now. But at least this is a start.

(no subject)

I'm really groggy and allergy addled, so hopefully I can form complete sentences here.

Scotty had a fabulous Dr. appt. today. It was his first appointment with the staff at the new feeding clinic. They were AMAZING. It was tough for the staff at the old clinic to get any sort of evaluation done on him because he wouldn't participate in anything and wanted nothing other than to go home. But the people at the new clinic were completely diffierent....and the clinic itself was completely different. The "exam" room was huge....lots of chairs, mats to play on, and toys galore. The team was a group of four women. The doc was out sick, so we haven't met her yet, but the rest of the team consisted of the occupational therapist, speech pathologist, dietician, and social worker.

So the Speech chick and the therapy chick were both young, attractive women. They got right down on the floor with him and started playing. I thought he would freak, but he was waaaaaay too busy showing off his manly Duplo tower building skillz. Then they brought out a blanket and snacks and had a picnic on the floor with him. He loved it! And they were able to do complete evaluations on him while disguising it as eating and playing. They ROCKED.

In the meantime I talked a lot with the dietician about the last feeding clinic, what they wanted us to do, and why it didn't work. And the social worker and I talked about the amazing amount of stress that we've been under.

So, long story short, they were amazed at the amount of weight he has gained. In April, when he was first hospitalized, he weighed 29 lbs. Three weeks ago, when he had his first surgery, he weighed 32 lbs (yes, we'd been able to bring him up three pounds by chucking that stupid diet plan out the window). And then today he weighed 34.1 lbs. THIRTY FOUR POINT ONE.

So they actually said (and I never thought I'd hear this) that his weight gain has been SO good, that he doesn't need more than two tube feedings a day. He'll continue to eat through his mouth like normal, and then he'll have a tube feeding twice a day at the same time everyday. We're to treat the scheduled tube feedings like taking medicine......same time every day to make us healthy. That way it's never linked to not eating and therefore never seen as a punishment for not eating well. Made sense to me.

So the dietician thought that gaining one pound a month would be perfectly reasonable. So the goal is for him to be 35 lbs in four weeks. If he's not, then we'll add another tube feeding in.

OMG, I can't even tell ya'll what a relief this is. The nurse also came in and coached me on wound care and said that the tube looks just fine. The stuff weeping out of it is totally normal for the healing process. She also gained Scotty's trust by promising not to touch it and respecting his space.

So after the appt, we stopped and got frozen custard for everyone and brought it home. Scotty had chocolate, which he decided to drink out of the container instead of eating with a spoon. When he was done, he looked up at me and Naisa with a chocolate mustache perfectly lining his upper lip. Naisa leaned over and said "My name is Inigo Montoyo".....I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my own custard.

It's like 5,000 degrees today. At least Tom put the air conditioner in the family room, so we can escape in there for a little while.

(no subject)

I suppose I should make a brief post while I have a chance. So, to fill everyone in.....

Scotty had his surgery on the 16th. All went well. He had a lot of pain at first but gradually got better and we got into a routine with the tube feedings. Then on Sunday (two days ago) he went for a walk with Tom. Now, the tube hung out of his belly a couple of inches above his bellybutton and down to about penis level (we actually called it his double ding-ding because he'd have to move one to the side to go pee). So it ended up hanging just a few inches below his shirt and really didn't get in the way or get caught on anything.....until he was riding on Tom's shoulders. Tom went to pull him down, the tube got caught at his neck/shoulder crease and got yanked out. Holy shot, the kid had a hole in his stomach....it was like a gun shot wound! OK, really it probably wasn't that bad, but it sure seemed like it. He had blood and stomach contents leaking out of his belly and down the front of his clothes.

Needless to say, we packed a towel on it and called 911. Two firetrucks came and then the ambulance came. They rushed us to the hospital. The hospital staff (this is our small local hospital) had no idea what to do. So the doc ended up calling the surgeon across the bridge where we had the surgery done. He told them to put gauze over it (even with a hunk of his insides hanging out....it was crazy looking) and then we ran him to the surgeon across the bridge for emergency surgery yesterday. He handled the surgery like a champ. He was awake from the anesthesia within half an hour and immediately asked when he could go to the playroom and play Mario Kart Double Dash on the nintendo. He didn't even require TYLENOL. They let us go home within a coupple of hours because he was doing so well.

When we got home, I wasn't supposed to feed him right away, but the kid was starving. He ate two scrambled eggs, half a turkey sandwich, two bags of snack sized chips, a fruit roll-up, a bag of fruit snacks, and two glasses of apple juice. Oooooookay. I don't know how he fit it all in there, but he got it all in and it stayed in, so I guess that's good.

Today he's acting COMPLETELY normal. He just raced through the living room demonstrating for me how he can kick his own butt when he's running. Sigh.

The good thing is that they put it the little tiny tube that they would have put it in after he'd had the long tube for two months. This one won't get pulled out. It only sticks out about half an inch from his skin.

OK, that's all I have time for. The kids are racing around at warp speed and Mommy's nerves are just about shot.

(no subject)

I bought a car today. Yay me! It's an '02 Altima. Love love love it! It's in flawless condition. Leather seats, all the upgrades, sunroof, V6 3.5L. LOve it. And when I test drove it yesterday I found a function on the dashboard that averages the gas mileage. It's been getting 24.4 mpg....a lot better than the less-than-ten that my van gets. Best of all, it doesn't rain inside! And I got it for $1,000 under blue book. Soooooo excited. I went to the bank with Anna, the owner, today and gave her the cashiers check, she paid off her loan, and they handed me the title. Then she wrote me out a receipt. And now we're going to pick it up at 6:30 tonight. It's silver with grey leather seats and a fin on the back. Love it. Oh, and they have a file in the glove box with the records and receipts for every service and oil change they've ever had done on it. Score! Have I mentioned that I love it?

Naisa took Scotty to the carnival at the college while I was dealing with that stuff. Free food, free ice cream, free popcorn, free balloons, free face painting. They had a good time. There was a guy dressed in the penguin mascot suit too and he gave Scotty a toy. It's so cute watching Naisa and Scotty together too. He's like her own baby. It was adorable watching them walk off hand in hand.

This weekend is the True Blood season premiere. CAN'T WAIT. Also, one of the girls at the music store clued me in to the fact that Eric Northman (my favorite TB character) is in the Lady Gaga Paparazzi video. *squee* Naisa and I had to watch it. Bizarre video, and he's not as hot in it as he is in TB, but still good.

Now that I've got the car shopping done, I feel more prepared to deal with all the medical stuff next week. Scotty and i have been talking about the surgery and he's fine so far. Tuesday will be my final pep talk with my therapist before the surgery on wednesday, so I think I'll be ready to handle it.

(no subject)

So I found out yesterday that I really upset someone on LJ. Gah! Not inside my journal either....inside someone else's. If it was in mine, I wouldn't be worried, or even feel bad. But inside another journal.....man. I feel really really bad because it's someone I really like too. I'm used to offending people, but not people I LIKE!

I looked at an '04 Passat yesterday and loved it. We're trying to finalize the purchase today/tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me.

I had to make Hunter a last minute doc appt. today. He's got a massive ear infection. Hunter doesn't register pain like normal people. Seriously, his eardrums have ruptured before and he never said a word. So I was happy (and surprised) when he emailed me yesterday and said that his ear hurt and that he wanted to go to the doc. So I got him in this morning and, indeed, it's crazy infected, but not ruptured yet. Now he's got some antibiotics and then he also has antibiotic drops.

I also stopped at walmart to pick up some hair color. Ireland and I were talking about genetics this morning. It started because one of her friends at school has one brown eye and one blue eye. So Ireland and I were talking about eye color and the fact that three of the kids have the same eyes that I have. And Hunter has brown eyes because his dad has brown eyes....blah blah blah. Then we started talking about hair color and how it changes as you get older. She said "Your hair is changing....now it's all grey in the front". Alrighty then. I'll be coloring my hair today!

I bought a new steering wheel cover for my new car while I was out too. It has fish on it...because I'm a Pisces. Love it!

Man, it's pouring right now! I love the rain...though I know some of you are suffering (sorry Wendy!). It'll definitely be nice to have a car that doesn't rain inside though!

I need to pick up some things for Scotty for our hospital stay. He's got sweat pants, but he needs some sweatshirts too. And some slippers and slipper socks. I need to cut his hair too. It's so long that the curls are all crazy. Silly thing to worry about, I know. My kid is having surgery and I'm worried about his hair. But it keeps me from worrying about everything else. *nods*

(no subject)

TMI alert....feel free to skip this paragraph. So after ten years in a relationship, the sex gets, you know, kind of predictable. I mean, it's good, but it's always the same. Except last night. HOLY SMOKES. I am incredibly relaxed. Tired, but relaxed. ;-)

Tom was making fun of me this morning because I've got some goofy curls sticking up off the top of my head. A few minutes ago I was looking at Scotty and realized that he has the same goofy curls today (his hair is getting too long). It makes him look like a cherub....who's just about to get into some mischief. Somehow it looks adorable on him....but mine make me look like I'm hopelessly trapped in 1989.

So I haven't had any money to buy books for my Kindle. I got a shorter post for my labret piercing a couple of weeks ago and Tom was furious. He hates the piercing, so spending money on it makes him crazy. So to calm him down I told him that I won't download any more books until the 15th. Sigh. So I've been stuck with the free books on Amazon. The free books are fine because I'll read damn near anything. But the one I'm reading right now seems to be a christian romance. Kind of a weird combination. But whatever, it's something to read. Next is The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes, Sense and Sensibility, and Warlord Of Mars.

The car shopping is going slow. We're going through private owners (instead of dealerships), which makes it a little less stressful. Private owners don't try to sell to you. Either you like it or you don't. So we're looking at an '03 Altima tomorrow. It looks great in the pics and the owner has been really nice and responsive. I'd prefer an Accord, but those are hard to come by in our range. I really want to get this over this week, since next week will be crazy, what with the surgery and all.

I *think* I don't have much going on today. Just getting the kids too and from school, cleaning the kitchen, doing a few loads of laundry (and our dryer is dying, so it takes FOREVER), and tidying the living room. I really need to take out the bathroom garbage too. Oh, and speaking of laundry, Scotty had an accident last night. Really, really rare for him. I don't know how his bladder could have been so full. We always pee right before bed, and he'd only been asleep for an hour. But man, it was a huge mess. So I have pee sheets to wash today. Yuck. Oh, and it all happened right in the middle of the Glee season finale. *grumble*

Of I run. Naisa is just about ready to be driven across town to school. Must remember that it's an early release for Ireland today too.

(no subject)

Sooooooo tired. I know I'll get no sympathy from your guys with babies who don't sleep all night. ;-) But I got in bed at 11 last night. Finally fell asleep at 1:30....and got up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep to save my life. So I decided to come out to the couch and try to go back to sleep, away from Tom's snoring. I got all comfortable, closed my eyes, and Scotland woke up and had to be taken to the bathroom. Sigh. Got him settled, got comfortable again, and Ireland woke up with a bloody nose. Double sigh. I made a pot of coffee and didn't even bother trying to sleep anymore. Of course Tom woke up at 7 after going to bed at 11 last night. He's one of those irritating morning people.....all chipper and talkative and "Wow, you were up early!" *grumble*

The car shopping is....a pain in the ass. I looked at an '02 Accord yesterday. It was a nice car, and I would have loved to own it, but the dealer wanted $500 more than we had. We said no and walked out. I will not pay $500 more, or $5 more for that matter. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find a decent car for $10k. I mean, really. I just want a car with four doors, preferably an Accord, Altima, or Camry, that is safe....unlike my van which is pretty much a death trap at this point. Ugh.

I sound really grouchy, but I'm actually not that bad.

I handled the pre-registration with the hospital yesterday for Scotty's surgery. Good to get that out of the way. Now a nurse will be calling me to go over the medical history and the last minute pre-op instructions. I'm also going to call the surgeon and ask for some baby valium since he gets so upset when he has to go to the hospital. I want him to at least get some sleep the night before so that his little body is in good shape for the surgery. Luckily he's been holding his own in the weight department. Still dangerously small, but he's been maintaining at 31 pounds.....as opposed to the 29 pounds he was at when he was hospitalized last time. He actually has butt cheeks right now. At 29 pounds he's got no butt cheeks...just a hole...like a cat.

OK, off to take Nai to school.

(no subject)

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed that I was going to commit suicide (not really...it was more like a cry for help) and for some reason the only way I could do it was to hold shit in my mouth. Seriously, shit. In my dream dog shit was highly flammable. So along with the shit I also had a mouth full of lighter fluid......and a baby chicken. And then I had to set the baby chicken on fire and wait for it to catch everything else on fire. Man, my subconscious was working overtime!

Random thoughts...

I've been sick with The Worst Cold Of The 21st Century. I'd been slowly dying all week on the couch, and then Naisa came home and took over for me yesterday.....so I promptly got in bed and slept for 22 hours. I'm starting to feel better now. I'm up and about, but my legs start shaking if I stand for more than a few minutes. Christ, I feel like I'm 90.

As Scotty's surgery looms nearer, I find that I'm having a harder time keeping my anxiety under control. I know it's not helping me to get worked up. It's certainly not going to help him. It gets me nowhere. I have a game plan, I'm doing as much as I can, and there's no use in worrying about something I can't control. Yes, I have a good therapist. But really, when it comes to anxiety, KNOWING that it doesn't help me really doesn't make it go away. Just sayin'.

So I have to buy a new car. Not a NEW car, but a new-to-me car. We have the blank check from the bank sitting here just waiting to be written. All systems are go....except I just can't make myself actually start shopping. Seriously, I'd rather tear my fingernails out than go shopping for a car. I WANT a new car, I just don't want the experience of BUYING said car. Ugh.

Tom finally got the dryer fixed. It had been broken for almost a week. Imagine what our laundry room looks like right now....considering the fact that we create two loads of dirty laundry a day.

So Naisa is set to graduate from college on the 17th. Can you believe it? She really didn't want to go thru the ceremony, but my mom guilted her into it. The only downside is that Scotty's surgery is on the 16th, so I'll be leaving him in the hospital with tom to dash off to the graduation, and then dashing back to the hospital. Ugh. But still, my kid is graduating from college. Craaaaazy.

I should probably get Tom up from his nap soon. If he sleeps for too long, he'll get a headache. Not me. I can sleep for 22 hours and just feel better! We're grilling cheesy dogs tonight.